Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Happy Belated Mamavation Monday.

Soooo it just occured to me that I haven't posted in a bit. So I better get on this!

Things in my life are still crazy, and getting crazier.

I'm still a medical mystery. Do I have PCOs? Do I not have PCOs? That is the question.

The past week, my doctor has decided that she doesn't know what's wrong with me, and I have been reffered to an endocrinologist at the University of Michigan. Which of course I can't get in to see until the end of August. So I'm waiting.

I've been given the green light to start Clomid by my OB. But now my hubby thinks it isn't the best time to have a kid, which I agree. But I don't know, and more importantly, my doc doesn't know if I'll be able to have one the longer this goes on.

The one thing that has remained constant is that I need to lose weight, eat low GI, and exercise. So I'm glad I'm here!

Oh, and now my MIL lives with us.

As you can imagine, I'm practically pulling my hair out over here.

On the brightside, I'm down a little over 10lbs. My start weight was 192, and I am now 181.8! Woot!

I hope you all are having a much more fabulous time than I am! Can't wait to find out who the next Mamavation Moms are. I really want to see how the purification of homes goes.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Mamavation Monday -- A body in motion stays in motion

This post is sponsored by Radiantly You and Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway

Whooops! I forgot to post over the Memorial Day weekend. So I have lots to catch up on. For starters, I lost 2.6 lbs this week! It's both good and bad, since I keep gaining back, then losing more. Stupid medication. Since being on the Metformin, I'm down 4.8 lbs total. However, I've been feeling "funny", similar to when I had gestational diabetes. So I started taking my blood sugars--fasting inparticular. I've been testing in the 130's, and for those that don't know anything about blood glucose, a fasting of 110 is considered diabetic. So the stupid Metformin has apparently given me diabetes. Joy.

Needless to say, I have a doctor's appointment now. I'll probably find out that I don't really have PCOs. Who knows though. I don't have an M.D. after my name.

Today I had a big breakthrough though. I actually worked out. For the first time in a long time. And it felt good. Really good. So I'm going to continue to make a concerted effort to stay in motion.

Goals for this week:
Be mindful of carbs and portion control (try and keep blood sugar under control until I get to the Doc)
Stay in motion
Up my water intake
Drink more green tea (it's good for you, and for whatever reason it makes me feel fuller and eat less)

I'm also going to be taking part in the Mamavation Virtual 5k June 8th and 9th! I love taking part in this annual event. Have an excellent week!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Mamavation Monday - 2 steps forward, 4 steps back

So this week has been good and bad. On the good note, I lost 4 lbs. Woot! Apparently, the medication that my doctor put me on is working. Hurray. Which was a surprise, because I didn't quite eat nearly as well as I should have this past week.

In other news, this week has been one of the worst weeks in my life. I found out that I won't be receiving the scholarship that I thought I was going to be getting. I was sure, so not to get it was particularly devastating. Then my catalytic converter blew on my car, and while I was driving it to the dealer to get it repaired, the car broke completely. Bummer. It's only got 50,000 miles on it! Turns out it was my engine's coil pack, that went bad. But of course, there was lots of other stuff wrong. So I got a loaner. Well wouldn't you know it, someone hit me in the dealership's car. My first accident ever. I have a $1k deductible. Little Man and I are okay, though. Oh, and to top it off, my 3 year old has an appointment with a specialist, to be evaluated for surgery. Worry. Worry. Worry. I can't stop.

So by tomorrow, when I pick up our car, our entire bank account will be drained. :( But at least we had enough to cover this craziness. Ugh.

So the long and short of it is, since last night (I weigh Thurs.), I've had an awful lot of alcohol and chocolate. Like a ton. Which is not the best choice, but it happened. I woke up this morning, got right back at it, and ate my egg, and piece of fruit like a champ. Then I had a healthy lunch. And I'm on track again. It's nice to have been able to rebound. Am I happy? Hell no. Am I flat broke? You bet. But I'm not going to let that dictate the way I want to look in the mirror, and how I want to feel.

Here's to a better week this week, and I hope you all have great weeks too!

This post is sponsored by Simple Self Defense for Women and Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway 

Monday, May 13, 2013


I have wonderful(ish) news to share! I finally have an answer to the hormone conundrum! The downside, though is that I have a diagnosis. I have PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Which ironically can be related to weight. But since I've been given the diagnosis, things have been adding up.

Inability or hard time losing weight despite best efforts (and me inevitability giving up because I'm just "supposed to be" this big from now on)/insulin resistance
Hair loss
Infertility/Little to no periods
Extremely oily acne prone skin (I've been feeling 16 again in that regard)
Strange pelvic pain

Did you hear the "lightbulb" moment?

Sooooo because I was on day 42 when I went to the OB, I was "induced" with oral progesterone. Apparently, not only is PCOS annoying, the no period thing can give you cancer. Scary. So because I had water weight and PMS I gained again this week, 1.3. Ugh. Not happy. On the bright side I was started on Metformin for the insulin resistance, with the expectation of it helping me lose at least 10 lbs, and get my lady parts functioning better. So hopefully, I'll start seeing losses in the weeks to come. "Clomid" was also bantered about--because of the difficulty that comes with getting pregnant and this disease. So please, if you suffer from PCOS and have had to endure any of this, please connect with me, I'd love to pick your brain.

Keep up the water intake.
Keep moving, now that I'm back to work and off vacation.
Get this PCOS problem under control, and start losing weight again!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day, and has a wonderful week to come! And many thanks to all of my Mamavation Sistas that have been supporting me through this craziness. You all are such a blessing!

“ This post is sponsored by Noelle Katai and Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway ”

Monday, May 6, 2013

Mamavation Monday-Hormone Hell

This week has been one heck of a roller coaster. As you may have read in my previous posts I've been having problems with my "hormones". Well at least that's what the OB is telling me. I've been exhibiting almost all of the symptoms of menopause with no relief. I've been having PMS for the past week and a half, crampy, crabby, exhausting, achy, hunger. So my poor eating habits have blessed me with a 0.4lb gain this week. I'm hoping to see a dramatic loss next week, because with all of this I'm resembling a water balloon as well.

It's just stupid. Can I tell you how much I hate this? How am I supposed to EVER have another kid when I'm not having monthlies? It's irritating. So irritating that I called the OB with a status update this morning.

After I was told that my NP that I see is on vacation until next week, the actual OB called me back three hours later and told me that she wants to see me ASAP tomorrow. So MAYBE I'll find out something. After 6 months of this though, I'm not going to hold my breath.

On the bright side, I've been "stay-cationing" this week from work, so I've been getting a TON of stuff done, and on top of my workout, we've been taking long family walks in the evening. We didn't get to go tonight--we live in a rougher neighborhood and my hubby was scraping and painting the garage all day--and my little guy cried. I didn't realize that he liked our new routine that much!

This week's goals:
  1. Keep on being as active as possible.
  2. Eat as healthy as possible even during the cravings.
  3. Keep taking one step at a time.
Weight-loss to date:
Starting Weight: 192
4/27: 189.2 (Loss of 2.2)
 5/7: 189.6 (Gain of 0.4)

Wishing you all a great week!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Mamavation Monday- On time and Good News!

Check it out ladies! I'm on time this week! Must be because I finished my final, final exam for the
semester and handed it in yesterday! WOOT! *High Fives* all around for that! I'm so ready for summer, this semester was completely draining, well one of the two classes I took was, and if for some reason if this post makes it to some Wayne SLIS faculty, it wasn't yours Professor Jen. :)

This semester is coming to an end at the perfect time, and thinking back, not having the funding to continue through the summer was a blessing in disguise. By taking the summer off, I'm able to reestablish my healthy habits that I keep striving toward, but time always seemed to get in my way. Time can no longer be an excuse! Aside from work, I've got time, and a whole lot of it, through the end of August.

Last week, I rejoined Weight Watchers. And I'm happy to report, I LOST 2.2 lbs this week! SCORE! And the loss has only motivated me to keep going, even though I'm majorly PMS chocolate hounding this week. Skinny Cow chocolate is about to be a lifesaver here. So, I'll continue to keep track and keep counting my Points, as one of my summer goals.

The other goal I have is to get back on the workout wagon. I need to make exercise a habit. They say that it takes 17 days to develop a habit, but for some reason I give up, take a rest, or just generally stop doing my exercise routine around day 14. So I'm determined to push through and make time for exercise. I know that it's got to be a habit by the time fall rolls around, since I'll be in school full-time, parenting full-time, and working part-time, or I just won't make the time to do it.

I also have to start drinking water again. It's been really hard as of late, because even though I've never been a soda drinker, or anything else but water for that matter, I just haven't been particularly thirsty, so I don't have the cue to drink. So I'll work on that too.

  • Keep journaling my food (on both good AND MISBEHAVIOR days)
  • Make excercise a habit
  • Work on water
These are my goals for the summer (Monday APR 29 - AUG 26).

Starting Weight: 192
4/27: 189.2 (Loss of 2.2)

^^I'm also going to start doing this for accountability! :)

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Mamavation Tuesday- Can't I Ever Be On Time?

So truth be told, this post has been ready, and sitting in my inbox since Saturday, but once again I'm late. UGH! But you have to forgive me, It's my birthday! So you can't be too upset with the birthday girl, riiiight? So onto my on time, turned late, post:

Whoa, what a week. Tradgedy and triumph all smashed into 7 days. I've been full swept into the media sensationalism of the Boston bombings this past week, all the way to singing along to Niel Diamond at the Red Sox game, and here I am in Michigan. Proof positive that the entire US was thinking about Boston this past week.
In my corner of the world, the end of the semester is nearing it's close. Whooohooo! I am literally going to jump for joy after it's over. I've had a doozy of a semester, one class more than the other. So I'm glad that it will be over and I'll officially have 1 year of library school under my belt. I was awarded the Elizabeth James-Bath Endowed Scholarship this past Tuesday, and it's really going to assist with school in the fall. However, I'm still hoping to attain a full-ride graduate professional scholarship so that I can finish my schooling this coming year, and be a REAL "LICENSED" LIBRARIAN! I'll find out in May if I recived that, but May can't come soon enough.
So amidst the stress and choas of the final portions of the semester, I've discovered that being gluten and dairy free is actually causing me to gain weight, since for the most part GF carbs are way more caloricly dense than non-GF carbs. The bread that I made had a whopping 170 calories A SLICE! So much for eating a sandwhich! So I just decided to return to sweating, and the yogurt and cheese I've been eating hasn't been hurting my belly, so that's a win. I have still been staying away from milk, and think I might be an almond milk convert for life. I am missing my skinny-cow ice cream though.
Despite all of the choas of this past week, I rejoined Weight Watchers again--just for a little "in-person" accountability. It worked the last time I did it, until I got bored. But since, I'm really, really, fed up about not fitting into my jeans and clothes not looking right, and fat rolls, blah, blah you get the picture, there's nothing I can do but pick-up and try, try again. So I am. Again.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Mamavation Tuesday- Again! Paying the Piper

Hello Sistas! I apolgize for being late AGAIN, I had an ENORMOUS term paper for school due last night, so I've been up to my eyeballs in research since Friday night. Anyhoo, this week, all of my Easter eating caught up with me, or is it the fact that I've been strength training? I tend to bloat up like a balloon the second I lift a weight. Is this weird? Does anyone have a secret to beating the bloat? Long and short, I gained 5 lbs. I'm aggrivated, but moving forward.

On the bright side, I received word that my hormones are back within normal ranges! Whoo hoo! However, I'm still having all the symptoms of menopause, so I'm back to square one trying to figure out what the issue is. Gah.

Congrats to all of the Finalists! You all are some lucky ladies!

This week my goals are small. Drink water, and lots of it. I came down with something and am reeling from it. Sore throat, drainage, body aches, you know, all of the good stuff. So I'm going to take it slow and get back in the game. Wishing you all a fabulous week!

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Monday, April 1, 2013

Mamavation Monday - Holding Steady

I hope everyone had a fabulous Passover week/Easter weekend (if you celebrate). This week has been filled with Easter candy for me. But thankfully, weight wise, I'm holding steady--so far. I'm waiting to pay the piper. Anywhoo, I'm coming to realize that I really do have a gluten sensitivity. There was the whole magical moment of realizing I wasn't sweating when I went gluten free, but I've also noticed that I'm not sinusy, and even though the scale hasn't budged, I look skinnier--bloat be gone. Total TMI, my poo looks funny though. Has anyone else had this happen to them after following a GF diet?

Going GF has had it's pitfalls though. I've eaten some bread, or a biscuit here or there, and I feel really gross afterward. And then the sweating starts again. And the bloat is instant. Which is nasty. I have so many incentives to stay away from the wheat, but it just tastes so damn good. I'm not quite sure how to get past that. I just keep trying to focus on how good I feel without it.

As for challenges this week. Easter presented me with a "Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuit", that I delightfully indulged in, and subsequently felt like crap. But I didn't eat the pie. Instead, I ate about 9 bazillion Nestle Crunch Mini Eggs and Reese's Pieces Eggs. But I'm moving on. I didn't drink nearly enough water, so I need to resume my hydration routine. I'm getting back to working out this week. Strength training helps with the hormonal craziness. With that, I'm off to do some Jillian Michaels! 

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Short Check-In Mamavation Monday (Tuesday)

So for the past week (up until Saturday), I have successfully eaten gluten, dairy, and corn free. On Sat I snuck some raw cookie dough from the batch I was whipping up for my son's party on Sunday. But I felt fine.

Then a few hours later, I ended up with the most intense pain I've had in my life. It was like someone took a slegehammer to my pubic bone. It literally felt like my pelvis was cracking in half. The pain was so intense that I started vomitting and couldn't stop. I was shivering violently and couldn't stand up. After awhile I was able to fall asleep. Needless to say, I didn't end up completing the #2weekchallenge. :(

Then, Sunday, I knew I was going to eat gluten and dairy. I was having cake and pizza. So I ate, and I felt fine. Until one thirty in the am, when my intestines started to feel like they had glass in them, and I was up all night long in the bathroom.

So by Monday, I was really dehydrated, and reeling. I also had to play catch up on homework, so I spent as much of the day in bed as a three year old would let me.

So not all of my goals were achieved this past week. On the bright side, I'm going to the OB tomorrow to see what's up on the menopause front. Maybe I'll get some good news, since this week has sucked so badly so far!

Hoping your weeks go better than mine has!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Mamavation Monday--Progress

So this week was a bit of a roller coaster. I've been doing my best to complete the two week challenge. One night, I fell asleep on the couch before I could bust it out short grad school is kicking my butt. I have a group project this week (during spring break-bleh) that is due the day we get back, and I have been crowned QUEEN. Wah, wah. wah......can you feel my enthusiasm (This is due largely in part to the fact that I am always crowned leader of every single group I've ever been in)? Group work in school, doesn't prepare you for real life group work. Really, it doesn't. 

Anywhoo, given my stressful state, my eating this week hasn't been the most stellar. I'm craving carbs like no other, and have been stricken by some marvelous GI virus/discomfort yadda ya. So in that regard I'm struggling.

On a positive note, I lost weight these past 2 weeks--I didn't weight last week, of 5.2 lbs. That brings a smile to my face. :) My husband even put his arms around me and asked if I was down a few. Score.

My goals for this coming week:
  1. Make morning exercise part of my routine. Getting up earlier and getting it done so the likelihood that I'll pass out on the couch before I get it done is NONE.
  2. I'm going to continue to stay on top of my water intake. I really can tell that I eat less the days that I am really tippin' it back.
  3. Get back to eating healthy. These hormones aren't going to fix themselves, apparently!
  1. Completing this group project. It's due Monday, so after that I'll have a few days to veg.
  2. My son's 3rd birthday party is this weekend. Cake. Pizza. And Emotions.
  3. Making sure I get the rest of the #2weekchallenge done!
I hope all of you ladies have a fabulous week! <3>

Sunday, March 10, 2013

#Mamavation Monday--Baby Steps

Alrighty peeps. This past week, and my official re-induction into the Sistahood week (woot), has been focused on baby steps. When I first asked Leah for advice on Twitter before coming back, she said,

"Leave your shame in yesterday. Take small steps today. Pledge to . start small, baby steps making lasting changes."

And last week, Kia reaffirmed this. So for my baby step this past week, I've been drinking water. Half my body weight per day, I've rounded this up to 100oz. and I'm doing it. And the best part is, I feel GOOD about doing it--besides having to pee all the time.

As a reminder to keep taking baby steps, I bought myself a ring.
It reads "The journey of a thousand miles, starts with a single step."

I thought it was a perfect reminder of the journey that I'll be on for the rest of my life, take baby steps.

So this week, my baby step is to eat clean. Ditch the crap, and work on resetting my hormones. And as I have learned, food is one of the easiest ways to reset them. I'm reading "The Hormone Diet".

As some of you may or may not know, last December (2012), I was told I was in menopause by my primary care doctor. I went in complaining about my horrific night sweats and continued fatigue, and ended up having tons of bloodwork done. My bloodwork came back with ZERO FSH, ZERO Estrogen, and a SMIDGE of LSH. I began to question if I even actually counted as a woman anymore. Did I mention? I'm only 26!

From there, I was referred to my OB/GYN, who immediately took me off birth control. Apparently, sometimes birth control can suppress your hormones so much that it will lead to menopausal symptoms. Now, I'm stuck waiting. My OB won't recheck my levels until after two cycles (I'm waiting on cycle two), to make sure that the synthetic hormones are out of my system. However, the night sweats still haven't gone away, so it will be interesting to see if I really am in menopause. Which horrifies me, because I want to have another kid. Bad.

So this week, I'm going to be eating clean. For me, and for the potential to have babies in the future. Oh, and I'm going to continue to drink massive amounts of water. :)

Friday, March 8, 2013

Healthy Food Storage Tip-Asparagus

Yesterday,  while watching the Rachael Ray Show, I learned the best tip ever. Rachael had Chef Sara Moulton on with tips to make your healthy foods last longer. The best part was, I just bought asparagus earlier in the day, and she disclosed this little tid-bit.

Store your asparagus the way you would flowers! Who knew? I sure didn't.  Cut off the woody ends, about an inch, and keep them in a 'vase' on your counter. Brillant! Asparagus is in season right now, so its cheap! Mine just usually rot in the veggie drawer, so I'll feel less guilty about stocking up, now that I know how to get the most bang for my buck!

Watch the entire clip of money saving tips here

Monday, March 4, 2013

And......I'm back. It's #Mamavation Monday.

So I haven't posted in almost a year. Why? Because I quit. I quit fitness, I quit caring, and I quit fighting. Where did that get me? Oh, back to square one. I'm just as heavy now, as I was after I delivered my son, almost 3 years ago.

I got the on the scale last Sunday, and was mortified. 194.2 lbs.


5.8lbs away from 200. A number that I never, ever, dreamed I'd ever see. I saw it while I was pregnant, and I sure as hell didn't want to see it again. Let alone, not pregnant.

I was disgusted with myself. I cried. I'm crying now as I type this.

The fact is, I have a food addiction. It all started when I was little, I used to hide under the table and eat sticks of butter while my mother was in the shower. This was before she died, so I was 5, maybe 6 years old.

After my mom died, I turned to food and got chunkier and chunkier. Ultimately wearing "Pretty Plus" clothing, and stretch pants, because I just couldn't fit into anything my friends could wear. Something I would never wish on any child.

Once puberty hit, and all of my friends were thin, and now had boobs and butts for the boys to oogle, I decided that in order to love myself, I'd have to be thin. So I stopped eating. I'd have a snack size applesauce in the morning for breakfast, and then nothing. Sometimes, I would skip breakfast and only have a pack of Zebra cakes for lunch, and nothing else, all day.

Then I discovered the joys of diet pills and ephedra. I figured out that I could be thinner if I didn't eat and took the pills. Instant weightloss.

But since I wasn't eating, I started self-medicating, with substances other than food. At 13.

I started smoking, to be cool of course. And drinking, because it made me feel good about myself. And smoking pot, because it allowed me to live in a world without problems. And then sex, at 14, because I just wanted to be loved. Thankfully, I dated the same guy through all of high school and some of college.

This continued for a really long time. My "medication" benders would come in spurts. Sometimes I would be hammered or stoned every. single. weekend. Other times, I could go for months. I was a straight A student after all, so it was easy to keep my pain hidden behind a perfect report card.

When I left my high school sweetheart (if you could call it that--very volatile, abusive, relationship), and started dating my husband, he told me that what I was doing to myself was immature, and that he wouldn't put up with my behavior, as I laid drunk in my driveway on a hot summer night.

Once again, to feel loved, I adapted my behavior. And now that I wasn't drinking or smoking as much, I turned back to food for comfort. I didn't gain much weight, because I still had my occasional medication, to keep me sane.

A little over a year after my husband and I got married, I found out I was pregnant. That day, I dropped all of my "problem behaviors" and the eating began.

While pregnant, NOTHING healthy was appetizing. I lived off Mexican and Chinese food. Ultimately, I gained 60 lbs, developed gestational diabetes in my third trimester, and gave birth at 220lbs to a 8lb 2oz baby four weeks early via cesarian.

Today, my son is almost three years old. For the past 3 years, I've lost about 20lbs, and gained it back 3 times. It's disheartening.

In my last post in May of 2012, I wrote about my adventure in OA. Well, in the past week, I went back to OA because I just couldn't pull myself together. And that brought me back to Jesus. Whom, I have come back to and deserted several times over the past 3 years as well.

Jesus is helping. Reading my bible is helping. I've been tracking my food and working out for the past week as well. I know that's only 4 days, but I'm doing it. But despite my spiritual help, I really need a human support group as well. That's why I'm re-pledging Mamavation. I just can't do it alone anymore, and I need a group of friends that is going to stay on top of me--that I can be accountable to.