Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Short Check-In Mamavation Monday (Tuesday)

So for the past week (up until Saturday), I have successfully eaten gluten, dairy, and corn free. On Sat I snuck some raw cookie dough from the batch I was whipping up for my son's party on Sunday. But I felt fine.

Then a few hours later, I ended up with the most intense pain I've had in my life. It was like someone took a slegehammer to my pubic bone. It literally felt like my pelvis was cracking in half. The pain was so intense that I started vomitting and couldn't stop. I was shivering violently and couldn't stand up. After awhile I was able to fall asleep. Needless to say, I didn't end up completing the #2weekchallenge. :(

Then, Sunday, I knew I was going to eat gluten and dairy. I was having cake and pizza. So I ate, and I felt fine. Until one thirty in the am, when my intestines started to feel like they had glass in them, and I was up all night long in the bathroom.

So by Monday, I was really dehydrated, and reeling. I also had to play catch up on homework, so I spent as much of the day in bed as a three year old would let me.

So not all of my goals were achieved this past week. On the bright side, I'm going to the OB tomorrow to see what's up on the menopause front. Maybe I'll get some good news, since this week has sucked so badly so far!

Hoping your weeks go better than mine has!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Mamavation Monday--Progress

So this week was a bit of a roller coaster. I've been doing my best to complete the two week challenge. One night, I fell asleep on the couch before I could bust it out though....in short grad school is kicking my butt. I have a group project this week (during spring break-bleh) that is due the day we get back, and I have been crowned QUEEN. Wah, wah. wah......can you feel my enthusiasm (This is due largely in part to the fact that I am always crowned leader of every single group I've ever been in)? Group work in school, doesn't prepare you for real life group work. Really, it doesn't. 

Anywhoo, given my stressful state, my eating this week hasn't been the most stellar. I'm craving carbs like no other, and have been stricken by some marvelous GI virus/discomfort yadda ya. So in that regard I'm struggling.

On a positive note, I lost weight these past 2 weeks--I didn't weight last week, of 5.2 lbs. That brings a smile to my face. :) My husband even put his arms around me and asked if I was down a few. Score.

My goals for this coming week:
  1. Make morning exercise part of my routine. Getting up earlier and getting it done so the likelihood that I'll pass out on the couch before I get it done is NONE.
  2. I'm going to continue to stay on top of my water intake. I really can tell that I eat less the days that I am really tippin' it back.
  3. Get back to eating healthy. These hormones aren't going to fix themselves, apparently!
  1. Completing this group project. It's due Monday, so after that I'll have a few days to veg.
  2. My son's 3rd birthday party is this weekend. Cake. Pizza. And Emotions.
  3. Making sure I get the rest of the #2weekchallenge done!
I hope all of you ladies have a fabulous week! <3>

Sunday, March 10, 2013

#Mamavation Monday--Baby Steps

Alrighty peeps. This past week, and my official re-induction into the Sistahood week (woot), has been focused on baby steps. When I first asked Leah for advice on Twitter before coming back, she said,

"Leave your shame in yesterday. Take small steps today. Pledge to . start small, baby steps making lasting changes."

And last week, Kia reaffirmed this. So for my baby step this past week, I've been drinking water. Half my body weight per day, I've rounded this up to 100oz. and I'm doing it. And the best part is, I feel GOOD about doing it--besides having to pee all the time.

As a reminder to keep taking baby steps, I bought myself a ring.
It reads "The journey of a thousand miles, starts with a single step."

I thought it was a perfect reminder of the journey that I'll be on for the rest of my life, take baby steps.

So this week, my baby step is to eat clean. Ditch the crap, and work on resetting my hormones. And as I have learned, food is one of the easiest ways to reset them. I'm reading "The Hormone Diet".

As some of you may or may not know, last December (2012), I was told I was in menopause by my primary care doctor. I went in complaining about my horrific night sweats and continued fatigue, and ended up having tons of bloodwork done. My bloodwork came back with ZERO FSH, ZERO Estrogen, and a SMIDGE of LSH. I began to question if I even actually counted as a woman anymore. Did I mention? I'm only 26!

From there, I was referred to my OB/GYN, who immediately took me off birth control. Apparently, sometimes birth control can suppress your hormones so much that it will lead to menopausal symptoms. Now, I'm stuck waiting. My OB won't recheck my levels until after two cycles (I'm waiting on cycle two), to make sure that the synthetic hormones are out of my system. However, the night sweats still haven't gone away, so it will be interesting to see if I really am in menopause. Which horrifies me, because I want to have another kid. Bad.

So this week, I'm going to be eating clean. For me, and for the potential to have babies in the future. Oh, and I'm going to continue to drink massive amounts of water. :)

Friday, March 8, 2013

Healthy Food Storage Tip-Asparagus

Yesterday,  while watching the Rachael Ray Show, I learned the best tip ever. Rachael had Chef Sara Moulton on with tips to make your healthy foods last longer. The best part was, I just bought asparagus earlier in the day, and she disclosed this little tid-bit.

Store your asparagus the way you would flowers! Who knew? I sure didn't.  Cut off the woody ends, about an inch, and keep them in a 'vase' on your counter. Brillant! Asparagus is in season right now, so its cheap! Mine just usually rot in the veggie drawer, so I'll feel less guilty about stocking up, now that I know how to get the most bang for my buck!

Watch the entire clip of money saving tips here

Monday, March 4, 2013

And......I'm back. It's #Mamavation Monday.

So I haven't posted in almost a year. Why? Because I quit. I quit fitness, I quit caring, and I quit fighting. Where did that get me? Oh, back to square one. I'm just as heavy now, as I was after I delivered my son, almost 3 years ago.

I got the on the scale last Sunday, and was mortified. 194.2 lbs.


5.8lbs away from 200. A number that I never, ever, dreamed I'd ever see. I saw it while I was pregnant, and I sure as hell didn't want to see it again. Let alone, not pregnant.

I was disgusted with myself. I cried. I'm crying now as I type this.

The fact is, I have a food addiction. It all started when I was little, I used to hide under the table and eat sticks of butter while my mother was in the shower. This was before she died, so I was 5, maybe 6 years old.

After my mom died, I turned to food and got chunkier and chunkier. Ultimately wearing "Pretty Plus" clothing, and stretch pants, because I just couldn't fit into anything my friends could wear. Something I would never wish on any child.

Once puberty hit, and all of my friends were thin, and now had boobs and butts for the boys to oogle, I decided that in order to love myself, I'd have to be thin. So I stopped eating. I'd have a snack size applesauce in the morning for breakfast, and then nothing. Sometimes, I would skip breakfast and only have a pack of Zebra cakes for lunch, and nothing else, all day.

Then I discovered the joys of diet pills and ephedra. I figured out that I could be thinner if I didn't eat and took the pills. Instant weightloss.

But since I wasn't eating, I started self-medicating, with substances other than food. At 13.

I started smoking, to be cool of course. And drinking, because it made me feel good about myself. And smoking pot, because it allowed me to live in a world without problems. And then sex, at 14, because I just wanted to be loved. Thankfully, I dated the same guy through all of high school and some of college.

This continued for a really long time. My "medication" benders would come in spurts. Sometimes I would be hammered or stoned every. single. weekend. Other times, I could go for months. I was a straight A student after all, so it was easy to keep my pain hidden behind a perfect report card.

When I left my high school sweetheart (if you could call it that--very volatile, abusive, relationship), and started dating my husband, he told me that what I was doing to myself was immature, and that he wouldn't put up with my behavior, as I laid drunk in my driveway on a hot summer night.

Once again, to feel loved, I adapted my behavior. And now that I wasn't drinking or smoking as much, I turned back to food for comfort. I didn't gain much weight, because I still had my occasional medication, to keep me sane.

A little over a year after my husband and I got married, I found out I was pregnant. That day, I dropped all of my "problem behaviors" and the eating began.

While pregnant, NOTHING healthy was appetizing. I lived off Mexican and Chinese food. Ultimately, I gained 60 lbs, developed gestational diabetes in my third trimester, and gave birth at 220lbs to a 8lb 2oz baby four weeks early via cesarian.

Today, my son is almost three years old. For the past 3 years, I've lost about 20lbs, and gained it back 3 times. It's disheartening.

In my last post in May of 2012, I wrote about my adventure in OA. Well, in the past week, I went back to OA because I just couldn't pull myself together. And that brought me back to Jesus. Whom, I have come back to and deserted several times over the past 3 years as well.

Jesus is helping. Reading my bible is helping. I've been tracking my food and working out for the past week as well. I know that's only 4 days, but I'm doing it. But despite my spiritual help, I really need a human support group as well. That's why I'm re-pledging Mamavation. I just can't do it alone anymore, and I need a group of friends that is going to stay on top of me--that I can be accountable to.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

#BlogDare I am always...

(c) TLC
I am ALWAYS looking for ways to save money!

I started watching "extreme couponing" about a year ago thinking that the women (and dudes) doing it were crazy. How in the world are you able to strategize to score these deals, let alone find the time to cut over 100 coupons? That's a full time job in and of itself!

Then I figured out the secret. Most of these mamas are SAHMs, AND have their kids help them cut. Well, I can't exactly trust my almost 3 year old to accurately cut a coupon, I work part-time, and I'm in graduate school. Between all that and running a household, it sure does feel like I work full-time+. So I just don't have time.

At one point, I had a coupon binder, and if you'd like to make one I recommend Freebies 2 Deals Coupon Binder Pages. Tip: I printed them out on regular paper. I'd suggest cardstock. I also enhanced mine with Avery NoteTabs, 2 x 1.5 Inches, Cool Blue and Green, 40 per pack (16312) they color cordinate with the "Freebie" pages really well, and you can see where your coupons are divided without having to flip through the whole book.

That said. I don't use my binder anymore. However, I still get free product and save tons of money. This is my number one best tip for saving money WITHOUT having to cut coupons like Edward Scissorhands every Sunday.


These ladies will keep you in the loop for when things that you may want need, go on sale. I prefer to let others do the work for me. I follow (Facebook pages):

 Freebies 2 Deals
Target Savers
Today's Free Stuff
The Krazy Coupon Lady

Do you follow a deal site that you really love? Leave what it is in the comments!

Friday, March 1, 2013

Rough days and crappy parenting.

Whoa! Where did today go? My mind was racing and I was so busy at work that I didn't end up drinking any water. Which by the time I got off work, threw me way off track and sent me on an eating bender. Back at it again tomorrow.

This weekend I have a mid-term that is due, and a huge paper for grad school. I started and hopefully finished, the mid-term--which took a whopping 5 hours to complete.

Which brings me to the roughest part of the day. My crappy parenting.

All night long, my poor 3 year old son kept snuggling up to me telling me how much he misses me and dropping every hint in the book that he wanted attention--including acting out.

And it hurts. Me. And him.

I have way too much on my plate, between school, parenting, and work. But I have to make them all work together for the good of my family. Ugh. Sometimes you have to be a sucky mom to be a better one in the future.