Monday, May 14, 2012

Mamavation Monday-I'm a Food Addict

Despite my best laid plans this past week, I gained 0.4 lbs. I'm okay with it, because I deserve it. This past week, I spent most of my days doing really well, only to binge myself to sleep at night. It has been a really sick vicious cycle.

Saturday night, Little Man wanted  watch our local cable access channel, Channel 3, because he says that it's the "pretty music" channel (other than that it's a power point presentation about things going on around the area). While I was watching I saw an "ad" for Overeaters Anonymous (OA). I'm always looking for what is going to "fix" me and my eating issues, so I ventured over to their website, because I've always known I've had a problem with food. I mean, isn't that why we're all part of Mamavation in the first place? There's a reason I can't stick to a "diet", or a "lifestyle change" for more than a few hours-or at most a few days. There's a reason why in my teen years I was anorexic, and then bulimic. There's a reason why I'm going on these daily binges.

After browsing the OA website, I decided that it would be in my best interest to go to a meeting. So I did.

And I'm glad I did.

Last night, I learned a lot about myself, merely through other people telling their stories. I saw myself in every single one of them, in one way or another, and I started connecting the dots.

I'm an addict. A food addict. It must have started when I was little, or maybe I was born with this, because one of my earliest memories (I must have been 4 or 5) is hiding under the table while my mom was in the shower eating stick after stick of butter. Then in high school, when I knew that boys were looking at me (and seeing my fat rolls), I was able to gain control of my eating by switching addictions. Instead of eating food, I started drinking and getting high (you would have never guessed, I was a straight A student and had "my shit together"). Now, since it's not socially acceptable to be a drunk, drug addict, mother, I've got nothing left to do but eat to quell my problems. Which is why I'm having trouble sticking to a "diet". 

I came to all of these conclusions in under an hour. It was kind of cathartic being my own psychologist. :)

So now that I've mastered Step One of the 12 Steps, the one where you admit that you have a problem, my next course of action is to identify the foods that I'm addicted to so I can abstain. The foods that, when I eat them, set off a vicious cycle of binge eating. So that's what I'll be working on this week. I've already got a few things on the list-deep dish pizza, and butter, and there's more than those-I just have to figure them out.

Wishing you all a fabulous week.


  1. ((hugs)) Knowing what you are facing is half the battle, right? Let me know if there is any support you need.

  2. I've looked into OA meetings but never actually gone. I love that you are doing this!!!!! Good luck this week and I am looking forward to following your OA journey.

  3. I'm so glad you have found something that helps you! Being a slave to food is an awful feeling and if OA helps you overcome that, then more power to you!

  4. Wow thanks for sharing! I think I could totally attend an OA meeting. You r down one step- and thats a step in the right direction. Good 4 u!
    Keep it up- can't wait to read more.

  5. I wonder if we have OA here? Thanks for sharing your story and I am so glad to hear that it is already helping you!

    1. You can find meetings at if it interests you. :)

  6. Food is one drug that is still acceptable, even celebrated, in our society. You're not alone in this... I've struggled with food addiction and when I am able to succeed is when I change my perspective on the food - it's fuel not comfort. I'm happy to be on this journey with you, sista, as we find healthy things to fill the void we used food to fill. If you need a cheerleader, I'm here for you with the rest of the sistas! We love you, honey!

  7. Wishing you well on this journey ahead. Know that your sistas are all here to love and support you 'til the end.

  8. I've always wondered about OA. I'm glad that you got something positive out of it! Food is such a difficult addiction because we have to eat it to survive. Keep up the good work!

  9. That is so awesome that you have taking that first step. That right there, I think is half the battle.


    Big Hugs and Love...