Mamavation Monday--Progress

So this week was a bit of a roller coaster. I've been doing my best to complete the two week challenge. One night, I fell asleep on the couch before I could bust it out though....in short grad school is kicking my butt. I have a group project this week (during spring break-bleh) that is due the day we get back, and I have been crowned QUEEN. Wah, wah. wah......can you feel my enthusiasm (This is due largely in part to the fact that I am always crowned leader of every single group I've ever been in)? Group work in school, doesn't prepare you for real life group work. Really, it doesn't. 

Anywhoo, given my stressful state, my eating this week hasn't been the most stellar. I'm craving carbs like no other, and have been stricken by some marvelous GI virus/discomfort yadda ya. So in that regard I'm struggling.

On a positive note, I lost weight these past 2 weeks--I didn't weight last week, of 5.2 lbs. That brings a smile to my face. :) My husband even put his arms around me and asked if I was down a few. Score.

My goals for this coming week:

1. Make morning exercise part of my routine. Getting up earlier and getting it done so the likelihood that I'll pass out on the couch before I get it done is NONE.
2. I'm going to continue to stay on top of my water intake. I really can tell that I eat less the days that I am really tippin' it back.
3. Get back to eating healthy. These hormones aren't going to fix themselves, apparently!

Challenges:

1. Completing this group project. It's due Monday, so after that I'll have a few days to veg.
2. My son's 3rd birthday party is this weekend. Cake. Pizza. And Emotions.
3. Making sure I get the rest of the #2weekchallenge done!

I hope all of you ladies have a fabulous week! <3>

#Mamavation Monday--Baby Steps

Alrighty peeps. This past week, and my official re-induction into the Sistahood week (woot), has been focused on baby steps. When I first asked Leah for advice on Twitter before coming back, she said,

"Leave your shame in yesterday. Take small steps today. Pledge to #mamavation. start small, baby steps making lasting changes."

And last week, Kia reaffirmed this. So for my baby step this past week, I've been drinking water. Half my body weight per day, I've rounded this up to 100oz. and I'm doing it. And the best part is, I feel GOOD about doing it--besides having to pee all the time.

As a reminder to keep taking baby steps, I bought myself a ring.

It reads "The journey of a thousand miles, starts with a single step."

I thought it was a perfect reminder of the journey that I'll be on for the rest of my life, take baby steps.

So this week, my baby step is to eat clean. Ditch the crap, and work on resetting my hormones. And as I have learned, food is one of the easiest ways to reset them. I'm reading "The Hormone Diet".

As some of you may or may not know, last December (2012), I was told I was in menopause by my primary care doctor. I went in complaining about my horrific night sweats and continued fatigue, and ended up having tons of bloodwork done. My bloodwork came back with ZERO FSH, ZERO Estrogen, and a SMIDGE of LSH. I began to question if I even actually counted as a woman anymore. Did I mention? I'm only 26!

From there, I was referred to my OB/GYN, who immediately took me off birth control. Apparently, sometimes birth control can suppress your hormones so much that it will lead to menopausal symptoms. Now, I'm stuck waiting. My OB won't recheck my levels until after two cycles (I'm waiting on cycle two), to make sure that the synthetic hormones are out of my system. However, the night sweats still haven't gone away, so it will be interesting to see if I really am in menopause. Which horrifies me, because I want to have another kid. Bad.

So this week, I'm going to be eating clean. For me, and for the potential to have babies in the future. Oh, and I'm going to continue to drink massive amounts of water. :)

Healthy Food Storage Tip-Asparagus

Yesterday,  while watching the Rachael Ray Show, I learned the best tip ever. Rachael had Chef Sara Moulton on with tips to make your healthy foods last longer. The best part was, I just bought asparagus earlier in the day, and she disclosed this little tid-bit.

Store your asparagus the way you would flowers! Who knew? I sure didn't.  Cut off the woody ends, about an inch, and keep them in a 'vase' on your counter. Brillant! Asparagus is in season right now, so its cheap! Mine just usually rot in the veggie drawer, so I'll feel less guilty about stocking up, now that I know how to get the most bang for my buck!

 

Watch the entire clip of money saving tips here. 

And......I'm back. It's #Mamavation Monday.

So I haven't posted in almost a year. Why? Because I quit. I quit fitness, I quit caring, and I quit fighting. Where did that get me? Oh, back to square one. I'm just as heavy now, as I was after I delivered my son, almost 3 years ago.

I got the on the scale last Sunday, and was mortified. 194.2 lbs.

Seriously.

5.8lbs away from 200. A number that I never, ever, dreamed I'd ever see. I saw it while I was pregnant, and I sure as hell didn't want to see it again. Let alone, not pregnant.

I was disgusted with myself. I cried. I'm crying now as I type this.

The fact is, I have a food addiction. It all started when I was little, I used to hide under the table and eat sticks of butter while my mother was in the shower. This was before she died, so I was 5, maybe 6 years old.

After my mom died, I turned to food and got chunkier and chunkier. Ultimately wearing "Pretty Plus" clothing, and stretch pants, because I just couldn't fit into anything my friends could wear. Something I would never wish on any child.

Once puberty hit, and all of my friends were thin, and now had boobs and butts for the boys to oogle, I decided that in order to love myself, I'd have to be thin. So I stopped eating. I'd have a snack size applesauce in the morning for breakfast, and then nothing. Sometimes, I would skip breakfast and only have a pack of Zebra cakes for lunch, and nothing else, all day.

Then I discovered the joys of diet pills and ephedra. I figured out that I could be thinner if I didn't eat and took the pills. Instant weightloss.

But since I wasn't eating, I started self-medicating, with substances other than food. At 13.

I started smoking, to be cool of course. And drinking, because it made me feel good about myself. And smoking pot, because it allowed me to live in a world without problems. And then sex, at 14, because I just wanted to be loved. Thankfully, I dated the same guy through all of high school and some of college.

This continued for a really long time. My "medication" benders would come in spurts. Sometimes I would be hammered or stoned every. single. weekend. Other times, I could go for months. I was a straight A student after all, so it was easy to keep my pain hidden behind a perfect report card.

When I left my high school sweetheart (if you could call it that--very volatile, abusive, relationship), and started dating my husband, he told me that what I was doing to myself was immature, and that he wouldn't put up with my behavior, as I laid drunk in my driveway on a hot summer night.

Once again, to feel loved, I adapted my behavior. And now that I wasn't drinking or smoking as much, I turned back to food for comfort. I didn't gain much weight, because I still had my occasional medication, to keep me sane.

A little over a year after my husband and I got married, I found out I was pregnant. That day, I dropped all of my "problem behaviors" and the eating began.

While pregnant, NOTHING healthy was appetizing. I lived off Mexican and Chinese food. Ultimately, I gained 60 lbs, developed gestational diabetes in my third trimester, and gave birth at 220lbs to a 8lb 2oz baby four weeks early via cesarian.

Today, my son is almost three years old. For the past 3 years, I've lost about 20lbs, and gained it back 3 times. It's disheartening.

In my last post in May of 2012, I wrote about my adventure in OA. Well, in the past week, I went back to OA because I just couldn't pull myself together. And that brought me back to Jesus. Whom, I have come back to and deserted several times over the past 3 years as well.

Jesus is helping. Reading my bible is helping. I've been tracking my food and working out for the past week as well. I know that's only 4 days, but I'm doing it. But despite my spiritual help, I really need a human support group as well. That's why I'm re-pledging Mamavation. I just can't do it alone anymore, and I need a group of friends that is going to stay on top of me--that I can be accountable to.

#BlogDare I am always...

(c) TLC

I am ALWAYS looking for ways to save money!

I started watching "extreme couponing" about a year ago thinking that the women (and dudes) doing it were crazy. How in the world are you able to strategize to score these deals, let alone find the time to cut over 100 coupons? That's a full time job in and of itself!

Then I figured out the secret. Most of these mamas are SAHMs, AND have their kids help them cut. Well, I can't exactly trust my almost 3 year old to accurately cut a coupon, I work part-time, and I'm in graduate school. Between all that and running a household, it sure does feel like I work full-time+. So I just don't have time.

At one point, I had a coupon binder, and if you'd like to make one I recommend Freebies 2 Deals Coupon Binder Pages. Tip: I printed them out on regular paper. I'd suggest cardstock. I also enhanced mine with Avery NoteTabs, 2 x 1.5 Inches, Cool Blue and Green, 40 per pack (16312) they color cordinate with the "Freebie" pages really well, and you can see where your coupons are divided without having to flip through the whole book.

fashionablygeek.com

That said. I don't use my binder anymore. However, I still get free product and save tons of money. This is my number one best tip for saving money WITHOUT having to cut coupons like Edward Scissorhands every Sunday.

FOLLOW THE EXTREME COUPONERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA!

These ladies will keep you in the loop for when things that you may want need, go on sale. I prefer to let others do the work for me. I follow (Facebook pages):

Mommysavers.com
 Freebies 2 Deals
Target Savers
Today's Free Stuff
The Krazy Coupon Lady

Do you follow a deal site that you really love? Leave what it is in the comments!

Rough days and crappy parenting.

Whoa! Where did today go? My mind was racing and I was so busy at work that I didn't end up drinking any water. Which by the time I got off work, threw me way off track and sent me on an eating bender. Back at it again tomorrow.

This weekend I have a mid-term that is due, and a huge paper for grad school. I started and hopefully finished, the mid-term--which took a whopping 5 hours to complete.

Which brings me to the roughest part of the day. My crappy parenting.

All night long, my poor 3 year old son kept snuggling up to me telling me how much he misses me and dropping every hint in the book that he wanted attention--including acting out.

And it hurts. Me. And him.

I have way too much on my plate, between school, parenting, and work. But I have to make them all work together for the good of my family. Ugh. Sometimes you have to be a sucky mom to be a better one in the future.

#ThrowbackThursday

Me in '99. All of my 8th grade glory.

Mamavation Monday-Things are looking up

As you probably read last week. I declared myself a compulsive overeater by joining Overeaters Anonymous last week. And I have great news, I have been what "OAers" call abstinent for 7 days now. 

Every OAer's "diet" portion of the program is different, because we all have different "triggers". For me, I've been staying away from sugar, watching my portions-particularly of the unrefined carbs that I've been eating, and being mindful of how full I am when I do eat. I've been eating 3 meals a day. No snacks. I'm doing this because it allows me to feel what actual, legitimate hunger paings feel like. Which is something that as an overeater, I am unfamiliar with because I'm normally eating by emotion, or when I think I should eat because the clock says so-not when I am actually hungry.

I can't lie though, these past 7 days have been HARD. I swear, I've thought about food every second, from the time I woke up, to the time I went to bed. But not just any food. First it was cupcakes. Then it was a  Frozen Carmel Mocha from Biggby Coffee, the craziest part-I DON'T EVEN LIKE COFFEE! But OAers that stay abstinent tell me that it gets better, so I'm having faith in that, praying to my higher power, and attending meetings. I also think that being abstinent is easier for me to stick to than a "diet" or a "lifestyle change" because OA made it clear to me that I don't just want to be skinny, but that I have a disease, a compulsion to overeat that is preventing me from being skinny/healthy/insert other positive word here; and I refuse to succumb to a disease. I have to treat it, and the way to treat the disease of compulsive overeating is to remain abstinent. So that's what I'm going to do.

I think the biggest motivator is that the hard work of abstinence is paying off. This week I lost 3.4 pounds! AND one of my coworkers came up to me and told me that my pants are starting to look baggy! Score!


This week I'm going to work on:

• Staying abstinent
• Working out more
• Working more of the steps
• Finding a church, so I can continue to grow spiritually

Wishing all of you a fabulous week!

“This post is sponsored by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway”

Mamavation Monday-I'm a Food Addict

Despite my best laid plans this past week, I gained 0.4 lbs. I'm okay with it, because I deserve it. This past week, I spent most of my days doing really well, only to binge myself to sleep at night. It has been a really sick vicious cycle.

Saturday night, Little Man wanted  watch our local cable access channel, Channel 3, because he says that it's the "pretty music" channel (other than that it's a power point presentation about things going on around the area). While I was watching I saw an "ad" for Overeaters Anonymous (OA). I'm always looking for what is going to "fix" me and my eating issues, so I ventured over to their website, because I've always known I've had a problem with food. I mean, isn't that why we're all part of Mamavation in the first place? There's a reason I can't stick to a "diet", or a "lifestyle change" for more than a few hours-or at most a few days. There's a reason why in my teen years I was anorexic, and then bulimic. There's a reason why I'm going on these daily binges.

After browsing the OA website, I decided that it would be in my best interest to go to a meeting. So I did.

And I'm glad I did.

Last night, I learned a lot about myself, merely through other people telling their stories. I saw myself in every single one of them, in one way or another, and I started connecting the dots.

I'm an addict. A food addict. It must have started when I was little, or maybe I was born with this, because one of my earliest memories (I must have been 4 or 5) is hiding under the table while my mom was in the shower eating stick after stick of butter. Then in high school, when I knew that boys were looking at me (and seeing my fat rolls), I was able to gain control of my eating by switching addictions. Instead of eating food, I started drinking and getting high (you would have never guessed, I was a straight A student and had "my shit together"). Now, since it's not socially acceptable to be a drunk, drug addict, mother, I've got nothing left to do but eat to quell my problems. Which is why I'm having trouble sticking to a "diet". 

I came to all of these conclusions in under an hour. It was kind of cathartic being my own psychologist. :)

So now that I've mastered Step One of the 12 Steps, the one where you admit that you have a problem, my next course of action is to identify the foods that I'm addicted to so I can abstain. The foods that, when I eat them, set off a vicious cycle of binge eating. So that's what I'll be working on this week. I've already got a few things on the list-deep dish pizza, and butter, and there's more than those-I just have to figure them out.

Wishing you all a fabulous week.

Mamavation Monday-Finding My Motivation AGAIN....

I'm sure that the one thing we can all agree on is that one of the biggest parts of the weight loss battle is finding your motivation. Mine comes and goes, and I really wish it would stay--I mean, when it's here I lose weight, and when it's gone, I don't. Which is frustrating.

But yesterday I had a wake up call. Everything I put on made me look like sausage links, bumps and lumps everywhere. And then I noticed how hard it was becoming hard just to put the damn dishes away--bending over I felt pressure in my lungs. It grossed me out, feeling like that is just not acceptable, particularly at 26. And then it hit me, I've gotta do something. I can't play with my son when I can barely put the dishes away. Not to mention, I hate having sex with my husband because bits that shouldn't wobble, are MORE than wobbling--it's just not hot. And because it's not hot, I hold out. And that doesn't make him happy....

This is what I look like now. These were taken yesterday, and mortified me.

So here's the plan...

Food: I'm going to watch my portion sizes--this is my biggest battle. Because if you tell me I can't have something (i.e. pizza), I'm going to run out and eat 40 pounds of it. I'll be counting points+ values in coordination with Weight Watchers.

And then comes the exercise that I have to rediscover a love for, because I really don't want to get off my lazy ass and do it, but know that once I start I won't want to stop. Fickle relationship exercise and I have. So....

Exercise: I'm going to start doing TurboFire again. But I'm going to do it as a hybrid with ChaLEAN Extreme in hopes that new muscle will incinerate the fat that's sitting on top of it.

Today, I weigh 174 pounds. I can't wait to see that number drop next week! In the meantime, I'm going to attempt to use this blog as my personal accountability space. Posting what I'm eating, and exercising every day.

Wishing everyone a week of losses!

Mamavation Monday - Feelings of Failure

About 2 weeks ago, I hit a big milestone at Weight Watchers. I lost 10% of my body weight. It was a big deal for me. So big of a deal that I celebrated by ordering pizza. Probably not the smoothest of moves, but I did.

The only thing is, ever since that day I've been depressed. Almost like I am sad to see 10% of myself go. And with that depression, I've eaten every thing in my path, and then whatever else I could find. So much so that as of last Thursday I was up 4.6 lbs. Even through the #2weekchallenge, though I was working out, I was chowing down. Thus, I only had a meager loss of inches and pounds. And I'm dissappointed in myself.

But today I made a decision. I'm starting over. I'm committing to 30 days of consistancy. Today I've eaten better than I have in the past 2 weeks, and I also worked out (I've been slackin on that since the challenge ended). I'm commited to finishing Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 even if it kills me (it almost did today, my legs are on FIRE!). But 30 days, what's thirty days, right? I'm going to pull this off. I have to.

Wishing you all a great week!

Mamavation Monday - Loss Again

Sorry I'm late! I meant to do my post yesterday and attend MamavationTV last night. I know that Eden Fantasies always brings a good show! However, my hubby was home with me (for once) and we had a little calorie burning "homework" to do. Hehe. :)

Anyways, this past week I lost 2 pounds! Yahoo! According to Weight Watchers I officially lost 10% of my body weight, and then some. Though, I lost my true 10% a loooong time ago. Since I'm down 40 lbs post delivery, and I believe somewhere right around 27 lbs since I joined Mamavation. Sadly, though I am afraid I've gained back that 2 lbs and then some. As part of the #2WeekChallenge and have been putting in my workouts, but I have been insatiably hungry. I swear, I've been eating all freaking day long. So I'm really afraid I'm sabotaging myself--but I can't stop. I try every day. And then I end up eating all day long again. Darn vicious cycle. One thing is for sure though. I AM NOT BUYING PAZACKIS TODAY! So that should save me a crap ton of calories!

Wishing you all your best week ever!

Mamavation Monday- Return from being MIA

This past week, I lost another 1.2 lbs, taking me up to 5.2 pounds down since the last time I posted. Which was, a while ago. For a total of 26.2 since I joined Mamavation.

Things are still crazy, people are still sick/recovering in my family. January ended with ALL of us catching Norovirus. AKA, the virus from hell. For almost an entire week someone was in some sort of Gastro distress. Leading to me taking the baby to the hospital while I was still rocking a 103 fever, and my husband was stuck at home throwing up with diarrhea. This was the timeline:

Thursday: Lil Man throws up, a couple times--thankfully it was after Weight Watchers and the grocery store.
Friday: Lil Man appears to be doing better.
Wee Hours of Saturday Morning: I start throwing up so long and hard that I rupture almost all of the capillaries in my face.
Saturday Early Evening: Lil Man starts puking like something out of the exorcist. Husband tells me he's starting to feel crappy.
Saturday Evening: Baby ends up in hospital. See Photo
Sunday Night: My mother in law who drove Lil Man and me to the hospital so I could attempt to catch his vomit, starts throwing up.

It was insane. Thankfully we've all recovered well. AND it helped me lose 4 pounds that I didn't put back on. Score! This week, I'm hoping to reach my goal of losing 10% of my body weight at weight watchers. I've been trying to get that darn keychain for far too long now! And if I lose at least .6 this coming week, I'll make it!

I'm also in for the next round of the Two Week Challenge. This is my third challenge and I'm ready to win one of those prizes! Here are my measurements as I start off the challenge:

Weight 163.8 lbs
Waist 35.5 in
Hip 41in
Thighs 24 in on both
Arms 13 in on both

But now it's time for.....you guessed it!

The Mamavation Question of the Week sponsored by us, Mamavation!

What is your favorite way to relax?

My favorite way to relax, is to literally pretend I'm dead. Seriously. I'm not trying to be a creeper, my favorite way to relax is in Corpse Pose! For me, Corpse Pose is the most relaxing thing I can possibly do. Here's why:
1. It's time to myself. No kid. No hubby. No one to drive me insane.
2. I get to focus on my breathing and just slooooooowwwwww down for once.
3. While in corpse pose. I tense my entire body, and then release one muscle group at a time. It feels amazing, heck, almost orgasmic. And then I lay there in bliss after all of my muscle groups have released.
4. It's ten minutes of my time, where I get to be outside myself. Outside of my brain, that is incessantly running. Time when I give up on thinking (so don't interrupt me, I can't be held responsible for any actions I could potentially take against said intterupting party).

Wishing everyone a fabulous week and best of losses to my fellow challengers!

Mamavation Monday--Feelings of Discouragement

I'm starting to get discouraged, and yes, a little pissed off. I've been doing Weight Watchers (again) since October and I've only lost 11 pounds. And I've followed the program precisely. This week when I gained .8 lbs when I weighed in, I was LIVID. I was (insert multiple expletives here) kind of pissed. I had another perfect week, complete with more (cardio) workouts. My 25 year old body should be a fat incinerating MACHINE, not deceiving me...WTH.
This is about the 5th time this has happened to me since October.

(Up on Soapbox)

I'm giving up on Weight Watchers, on giving up on PointsPlus values, I believe it's a sham. If it helps you, that's great--I'm all for people losing weight, however, I believe WW is a money making machine more than helping people put up numbers.

Here's why, The PointsPlus program does NOTHING to back the scientific fact of: a calorie, is a calorie, is a calorie. They are declaring fruits and veggies to be "FREE", implies that it doesn't make a difference how much you eat of them. AND good old WW is doing little to encourage proper portion sizes--because, yes my friends, that pear you just ate can make you gain weight just as much as a candy bar, if you are eating too many calories. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard "eat a much as you want" when it comes to veggies and specific (lower carb) fruits at my meeting.

So, I'm done. I'm using a combo of MyFitnessPal to track my calories--including those of fruits and veggies, and my BodyBugg to see how many I'm burning. Aiming for a deficit of 1,000 calories per day. And I'm working out at least 30 minutes a day 6 days a week with a mix of strength and cardio.

I'm not doing a mid-challenge post, because I'm hoping to be blown away next Monday. I need some sort of big progress marker to keep me going.

(Step Down from Soapbox)

It's time for the Mamavation Question of the Week! This week's question is brought to us by The Chia CO!

What are your latest healthy food discoveries?

Hum. This one is hard, I've been eating the same stuff a lot lately, and I haven't ventured much out of my comfort zone because I know exactly how many calories I'm consuming. However, the biggest healthy food discovery I have made lately is less of a food, and more of a food website, with TONS of healthy and low calorie recipes. It's Skinnytaste.com. This site has AWESOME recipes. I've tried a few and they were raves: The Spinach Roll-Ups, Roasted Green Beans, and Baked Potato Soup. For those of you who are doing Weight Watchers, it even has the old points and the new points plus values listed for you. (Not that I care! LOL!) If I had one healthy eating website to recommend, besides Mamavation of course, I would say SkinnyTaste hands down, 110% that Gina chick really knows what she's doing! :)

Wishing you all a fabulous week of losses! Even the Weight Watchers members! :)

XoXo,

Lisa

This post is sponsored by The Chia Co and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women